Updated: Jan 16
Hello Gold Star Squad! Normally, I would be writing about our Friday Star of the Week, but I am changing it up a bit here today.
It has been more than 3 weeks since my last blog post. I had such grand plans for what I would do during the time that I was away, which included writing a whole bunch of new posts for the blog.
But I didn't write a single word for almost 3 weeks. Not a one.
When I stepped away from this site in December, I thought I would be stepping away to have a nice, relaxing yet productive holiday break.
But my ideas of fun and creative performance never came to pass. In fact, I have been struggling mightily since I stopped posting.
I think that I started to feel depressed right after Christmas. I knew that once New Year's was over, I would no longer have the holidays to focus on. I would have very little to look forward to, nothing to get excited about.
And even though I didn't want to acknowledge it, I also knew that once January 2nd rolled around, I would be right back into the soupy mess that hadn't gone away while I was distracted by the holidays. That nagging thought in the back of my mind led to a lack of focus and enthusiasm. I was going nowhere fast.
And then, suddenly, it was January 6th, a day that I'm sure I won't forget for a very long time. I had already been worried that "something" would happen when Congress met to count the electoral college votes. But I had NO idea that it would be as bad as it was.
I was completely thrown off by the siege of the Capitol, like a ship being tossed around violently in a storm. Our country is SO divided right now, and I'm honestly not sure that this divide can be repaired. That's some heavy shit.
And, as if that weren't enough, the Coronavirus is still raging. My home state of North Carolina recently set records of more than 10,000 new cases a day. And vaccine distribution is way behind schedule.
I mean, WTF??? Seriously, what is going on in this country?
For several days, I was completely and utterly lost. I read way too much about it all, spending hour upon hour on my phone or my laptop.
But, somehow, by some miracle, I started to snap out of it a couple of days ago. I knew that I had been giving my power away to forces outside of me. It was time to take my power back.
The fact of the matter is that I do not have control over the Coronavirus or anything relating to American politics. Worrying about it does me absolutely no good. Of course, not worrying or ruminating is much easier said than done.
In order to get and keep myself out of this mire, I feel like I need to keep coming back to the question: What do I actually have control over in my life???
As it turns out, I have control over a lot. I have control over my opinions, my desires, my reactions. Most importantly, I have control over my choices.
And, so, dear readers, I choose not to give in to despair. I choose not to throw up my arms and say – why bother with anything anymore?
I will admit that I essentially have written very little to move forward with on this blog. I may need to take a break from posting regularly every now and then due to a lack of material.
But I will not give up on it. I feel like now, more than ever, I have to do anything that I can to make a positive impact in the world, no matter how small and insignificant those steps may be.
Change starts with each of us, within ourselves. I am recommitting myself to this project and to the goal of inspiring others to appreciate the good things in their lives.
Because even when times are horrific, as they are now, there is always at least some small good thing to focus on. I have to believe that, and that is where I am choosing to put my focus now.
I would be lying if I said that I am now completely motivated, re-energized, and ready to go, but at least I am somewhat back on track now. That will have to be good enough for now.
So that is me being real with you. Now it's your turn to be real with me. How are you doing? Although this is an appreciation blog, life just can't be all sunshine and puppy dogs 24/7. I would love to hear about how things are with you, and I would also love to hear about what you are doing to cope in these deeply trying times. Hugs to you . . . .